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The title says it all. What the heck is going on? Is this thing alive? Is it a sleeper car that is programmed to come alive at a critical juncture and help the Germans try to take over the world again?

2007 S8. German cars usually don't burn or leak oil, so I screwed up and didn't check my oil before this trip from Northern Virginia to Charleston, South Carolina. I forgot that this thing has an Italian engine in it.

I like this car; it's half-German and half-Italian, just like me. And you thought I was Vietnamese just because I am using my Asian name. Ha! I fool you!

So basically, Audi Whisperer Needed. Is there anyone here who is the German version of a sort of Ceasar Milan for Audis? I'll bet there are several people like that here!

So I drove 500 miles, pulled over at a restaurant right around the corner from my destination, and that was it. The car will not start anymore.

I have no experience with Audis, although I used to do Corvette computerized fuel injection programming over 20 years ago.

It was very low on oil when I checked. It is full now, but still will not start. I suspect that this vehicle has some sort of failsafe that keeps the engine from starting subsequent to being run with low oil. That's silly. Why not a shutoff like a normal car? Why does this vehicle have to over think everything?

It was a nice drive down here; no power problems. The V-10 doesn't need the steep gearing, but this is a fantastic car. I have some existing electrical issues because I bought this vehicle at an insurance auction. It was hit in front. I am still working on wiring up the parking sensors and programming the headlight. But I have driven this thing 2000 miles now without any of these issues affecting anything important.

So does anyone have any input or feedback, or a different idea of why this thing won't start right now? And if I am correct and it requires some sort of computer reset, does anyone have any information regarding how to reset it?

I did not see my problem anywhere in the forums, although the search tool wasn't as helpful as I would like.

I would greatly appreciate any help. If you help me, I will call you "...a scholar and a gentleman". Also, the universe has a way of returning the favor for those who do right and help others.

Thanks in advance for steering me in the right direction.

-Bill Strasburg
 

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Discussion Starter #2
Missing Detail: The engine will not crank at all. Pardon me for not being specific with the most important detail!

I turn the key. Everything comes on in the dash as usual, but the car won't crank.

As mentioned, this is subsequent to a 500-mile drive. During the drive, I stopped at a gas station, turned the engine off, and refilled. Then I started the engine and drove 40 feet to a parking spot to make a pit stop inside (don't you hate it when people leave their vehicles at the pump while they go inside to use the restroom or pay for fuel?). Then I started it back up (nothing out of the ordinary happened) and continued driving the last few hundred miles.

I stopped at my destination and the car would no longer crank. This full-size luxury vehicle with the Lamborghini is the most huge and impressive paperweight I have ever seen now. But I am really not trying to go for that sort of dubious record.

If anyone could steer me in the right direction on this, I would greatly appreciate it.
 

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Problem solved! I'm glad that nothing like this has befallen anyone else here who had the chance to see this thread.

After taking a trip to Harbor Freight to get some tools that I don't have with me, I load tested the battery and determined that it was working great. It's unhelpful that the vehicle requires special computer software and tools to get codes or reset anything. So I looked around the engine compartment again, and there it was.

A group of wires came loose from above the passenger-side wheel and rubbed the tire until some of the wires were cut.

Strangely enough, the small green wire was required for the car to start. I think it's time for me to download a wiring schematic for my vehicle.

This is unusual since it requires the harness to unclip from the frame AND the wheel well cover to be missing, but perhaps this can help anyone in the same position.

This group of wires in the front right of the car are part of a circuit that provides a signal or signals that are required for the switch to send power to the starter. Innnnnteresting.

Well, I'm back on the road and pleased to report that this was nothing that could be said negatively about the fantastic design of the car itself. I bow to the Gods Of German Engineering and regret any complaints regarding the sophistication and complication of this vehicle. The 2007 S8 is quite a fine machine. Hold me back.
 

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